Learn to Let Go with Guest Blogger Mikayla Holmes

These are the words of  guest blogger Mikayla Holmes, author of  “Free to be Me.” If you’d like to contact or learn more about Mikayla you can visit her website. Download the Balboa Press free publishing guide to receive more information.

About Expectations

It is a very free feeling to let go of all expectations and live in the moment. It took me years to learn what “learning in the moment” really meant and how to achieve it.

Expecting is different than planning.

You see, no matter how much planning goes into any event, big or small, there will always be unforeseen challenges. When you have an expectation, especially an expectation of how others will respond, you are going to be let down. We create our own chaos when we push our expectations onto others.

Know Yourself

I am a type-A personality, and therefor am extremely organized. I like the feeling of knowing what is going to happen in my day and I like to feel in control.

When I first started to learn it was important to ‘let go,’ I didn’t really understand what it meant or how to achieve it. My questions were:

  • How can you dream for your desires to come true, which then causes anxiety, and you are trying to live in the future?
  • How do you learn from your past, without dwelling on it and reliving it, which can cause you to be depressed?
  • How can you be free and yet in control?

These questions are feelings based on expectations we carry inside ourselves. Emotions are hints which eventually allow you to decide what gets held and what gets let go.

Prepare then Organize

Planning an event like a book signing requires organizing skills and lots of list writing. For example, you have to find a location, write a list of and invite the guests. You must organize your marketing and advertising, and sort out the food and drinks required. On top of this, you have to schedule your work and family around this event. You must stock requirements based on how many books you think you’ll sell. Also, if you plan on giving a speech, you need to write it and practice it. Last but not least, you need to figure out the best date and time for the event.

All this planning for the book-signing takes time, and it’s all on top of the everyday demands of life.

Let it Go

When the planning is complete, I let go of expectations and live in the moment.

I know where I will be and when. I know who has RSVP’d and I have a rough idea of what will happen. Once the basic plans are final, I hand the rest over to the universe and let go of the organizing reigns.

I set my intentions around how I want to feel and a goal I want to achieve; like how many books I want to sell. With these in mind, I let go.

When you let go, you remove the expectation and allow even more amazing experiences to appear at your event. You are more awake, aware, and open to allowing these experiences.

Expecting is different to planning. Plan, set your intentions and then remove all expectations and just allow what will be to be.

Find your calm. Conquer your chaos.

Balboa Press authors who’d like to share a 350-600 word experience related to the self-publishing of their books are invited to do so by sending a message through our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/BalboaPress, by tweeting us @BalboaPress, or by emailing blog@balboapress.com. We may not be able to use every story, but we will read and consider them. Balboa Press reserves the right to edit stories for content, grammar, and punctuation accuracy; as well as for space. 


  1. Really enjoyed this perspective Mikayla and I’ll share it with my children. Important to be prepared and plan but when it’s time to deliver, it makes a lot of sense to focus on what you want to get out of the experience and be in the moment rather than take away that energy judging yourself.

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